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Zombie Thanksgiving

November 26, 2014

Thank you all for your zombie readership.

And thank you zombie Columbia University, see the Columbia Spectator: “Thanksgiving alternatives in NYC” by Rebecca Farley:

Columbia dining [was] selling a “Thanksgiving survival kit,” which, despite having a rather dark name (anyone else thinking of zombie-apocalypse Thanksgiving?), is a helpful bundle of foodstuffs for students staying on campus. The kit, which is $89 total, contains deconstructed sandwiches, dinner entrees, and lunches, among other things

Haha at “deconstructed”. Thank you Derrida (Thank you Freud. Thank you Hegel.)

Money Week: “How to unlearn hundreds of years of painful lessons” by Bill Bonner:

The pilgrims washed up in the wrong place, and then proceeded to almost exterminate themselves with clumsy central planning. Their system discouraged work and encouraged zombies.

Most new initiatives from government reduce the incentive to work and increase the rewards for not working. Not surprisingly, this results in fewer workers and more zombies.

You’ll remember our definition of a zombie – someone who lives on the output of others.

And especially for that, we say, Happy Thanks-giving!
Isn’t this the American dream?

The statistics Bonner cites are mildly staggering:

Between 1988 and 2011, the percentage of the public that has been zombified by government transfer payments increased 62%. That leaves about 86 million full-time private sector workers paying taxes, and 148 million on the receiving end.
… Meanwhile, the number of people on disability has soared. There were 51 working Americans to support every disabled person in 1968. Today, there are only 13.

What if we just keep going? Could we get it down to just some robots and machines doing all the work and we could live as zombies? More free time for humanities and arts or like a flock of turkeys on a industrial farm?

Thanksgiving: death to turkeys!

Recall from last year: “turkey-focused zombie apocalypse”, and the year before “Zombie Turkey, Undead Pilgrims, Slaughtered Native Americans AND Black Friday Hordes

To conclude with some holiday cheer, I finally bought a copy of “Elf off the Shelf” (it’s now under six dollars new at Amazon); recall Green “Elf off the Shelf” is parody of red “Elf on the Shelf” in part because of the image on the book’s back cover of a ‘Zombie Slayer DVD’. Now looking inside the book, one passage:

Forget the ball… and the doll… And that stupid toy train. Let’s go with gift cards and cash, And that sweet new zombie videogame.

So that DVD image is apparently supposed to be “Zombie Slayer” the video game. The book continues:

Feliz Navidad, and Happy New Year, I wish I could say, I wish you were here.

None of us are here. Easier to forget. Indulge in the illusion with bodily gorging of food, football, consumerism, the native American celebration of consumption.

zombie slayer elf

From → jobs, money

One Comment
  1. Lloyd permalink

    An impressive share! I’ve just forfwarded this onto a friend who hass been conducting
    a little homework on this. And he actually bought me dinner due to the fact that I discovered it ffor him…
    lol. So alklow mee tto reword this…. Thank YOU forr the meal!!
    But yeah, thanx for spendin time to discuss this issue here on your website.

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