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underwater zombie weaving

November 15, 2014

This post attempts to weave together metaphors of zombies and underwater.

First let’s recall previous ZombieLaw posts from July: “Zombie in a rising tide“, “Zombies on a Boat“, “the Obama float” (additional video of Obama float posted below), and “Zombie Pools

Next, see generally:
Yahoo Answers: “Do zombies float or sink?
Yahoo Answers: “Can Zombies Swim?????????
Roamers and Lurkers – The Walking Dead Forum: “Do Zombies Sink or Float??
Quora: “Can zombies swim?

Last month in FoxBusiness: “Zombie Land, U.S.A.” by Elizabeth MacDonald:

The number of corporate zombies with underwater balance sheets is sizable,

Last week in Paste Magazine: “10 More Marvel Events That Will Definitely, Probably Be In Secret Wars 2015” by Barry Thompson & Sean Edgar

What happens when the nihilistic ninja empire of The Hand attempts to take over Namor’s maritime kingdom? So many drowned zombie corpses. Like…all the drowned zombie corpses.

At Reddit, user claimed the pictured sculpture is entitled “politicians discussing global warming” but another user corrected:

It’s by Spanish street artist Isaac Cordal and is actually called “electoral campaign” and it’s part of a larger street art installation called “Follow the leaders.”

Technology review: “Grace Undersea” by Grace Young, “senior forgoes commencement to spend 15 days at the bottom of the ocean”:

collecting samples throughout the day—both live and “zombie” (recently dead but not yet broken down or consumed)—we compiled an enormous amount of data that will help us understand their circadian rhythm, their life cycle, and the effects of pollution and climate change on their health.

Vice Munchies: “Sail-Powered Rum Will Help Us During the Zombie Apocalypse” by Gareth May:

When the apocalypse comes and zero fuel is left on the planet (and there are zombies munching on your mates, too) the only way you’re going to get your mitts on bananas, ostrich meat or some other far off exotic food produce is the old-fashioned way: sail-powered trade.

Inlander: “Truth Scarier than Fiction” by Taylor Weech:

Since the beginning of the horror genre, trends reflective of mass culture have provided an outlet for our suppressed ideas through metaphor. Werewolves and monsters, then vampires, then ghosts, botched science, aliens and zombies have captivated us for centuries and helped explore difficult topics of the day from sexuality to xenophobia to colonialism and consumerism. Some topics are so scary that we avoid direct discussion about them, yet still can’t look away. Today’s dominant scary trope is definitively the apocalypse, whether zombie, climate or prophecy-triggered.

More fracking means more wasted water, more chemical pollution devastating land and human health, more vulnerability to intensifying weather, and more climate change-accelerating emissions. It also means more money… In a world so disconnected from the values that promote life over destruction, who needs horror stories?

Chicago Curbed: “Dozens of Zombies Are Floating Around Lake Michigan“:

the Zombie Containment, a haunted barge that partially sank due to high winds and rough waters on Halloween, began washing ashore.

MyFox by Kelly Taylor: “Zombie Found Floating In Lake Michigan”:

NBC: “Crews Resurrect Sunken Zombie Barge

WBEZ: “Zombie barge sinking in storm at Navy Pier” and “[VIDEO] Sinking Zombie Barge at Chicago’s Navy Pier“:

WTKR: “Coast Guard performs “zombie rescue” after Chicago Halloween barge partially sinks” by Becca Mitchell:

Owner John LaFlamboy says it cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. “So to watch it sink was very heartbreaking for a lot of us,” he says.

MEANWHILE, in North Carolina, the “Asheville Zombie Float” got a good turnout (MountainX: “Asheville tries for tubing world record with ‘zombie float’” by Jake Frankel) but failed to break records

Photo set at Citizen-Times:“Hundreds attend Asheville Zombie Float to benefit French Broad”:

WLOS News 13: “[VIDEO] Zombie Float Comes Close to Record“:

Recall again the Obama Presidential Library outhouse “zombie float”, and see “[VIDEO] Outhouse Outrage – DOJ Investigates 4th Of July Hate Float Zombie Resembles Obama

Remember back to 2008, in io9: “The Political Economy of A Zombie-Infested Floating City” by Annalee Newitz:

If there’s anything better than a ninja fighting zombies, it’s a ninja with alien-tech-enhanced powers nuking space zombies infected by a plague of collective murderous consciousness. And I haven’t even gotten to the part about floating cities on a Venus-like planet covered in sulfur-specked clouds.

And in higher education new, at Denver Post: “CU Denver class studies what makes fun” by Emilie Rusch:

Fun Objects, offered at CU Denver for the first time this fall, the most fun class in the history of college classes? … Guest speakers have included … the director of “The Doc of the Dead,” a documentary about zombie culture. … yes, there is homework, Novick said — this isn’t Underwater Basket Weaving.

Recall a similar reference last year posted here at ZombieLaw: “Underwater Basket Weaving Zombies“, see also Wikipedia:

Underwater basket weaving is an idiom referring in a negative way to supposedly easy and/or worthless college or university courses, and used generally to refer to a perceived decline in educational standards.

This basically describes the current state of modern American Academia. In fact, at least underwater basket weaving is an actual skill. Very few college graduates actually learn many actual skills like that, we learn reading and writing and communication skills, but maybe something like weaving (or welding, or any trade art) might be more useful? Maybe if someone taught Millennials to change tires and repair engines then we wouldn’t prefer to live in walking cities? Though who can afford a car when you’re paying for internet cable, cell phone and new computers. And the banks keep lending students money to take these classes and contract for phone plans and while this economy of scale might bring the cost of cell phones down, it drives the costs of education way up. This bank induced debt-financing creates indebted-consumers who are ready to buy stuff from their pocket device, but not prepared to innovate in ways that might disrupt the markets. They are breeding corporate drones.

From Sydney Morning Herald: “Banks sink market” by Patrick Commins and Jens Meyer:

zombie funds which were frozen during the global financial crisis

The economy, like the climate, when the frozen mess thaws, the suburbs are left underwater?

The Atlantic: “The Unfinished Suburbs of America” by Alana Semuels:

There are hundreds of zombie subdivisions like this one scattered across the country. … when the economy tanked, many of the developers behind these subdivisions went belly-up, and construction stopped… Jim Holway wrote in a report by the Lincoln Institute of Land Policy about zombie subdivisions. … It’s unclear just how to ‘fix’ these zombie subdivisions. While some will be completed as the economy recovers, others may lie dormant for a long time. … Still, some developers have come up with creative ways to turn zombie subdivisions into something other than rows upon rows of empty McMansions. … in some places, it’s working.

The report is titled “Arrested Developments (Policy Focus Report): Combating Zombie Subdivisions and Other Excess Entitlements” by Jim Holway with Don Elliott and Anna Trentadue.

See also, the Socialist Alternative: “Fight Back on Unaffordable Housing” by Calvin Priest mentioning both “zombie foreclosures” and “homeowners underwater”, defining:

Every fifth house in the foreclosure process is called a “zombie foreclosure” – where homeowners are forced out and the houses are not resold, but left to rot until they’re uninhabitable and torn down.

Now, I might quibble with that definition of “zombie foreclosure” (to recognize other ongoing disputes between banks and underwater homeowners and not just the abandoned properties) but I can agree with Priest’s explanation:

Millions of homeowners lost their houses to foreclosure after the bubble in burst in 2008, and in the years following. While the banks got bailed out, homeowners got sold out,

Recall “zombie foreclosure” is language used by RealtyTrac and see their latest report, referenced via Mortgage Orb: “RealtyTrac: Still Plenty Of Zombies Around“:

Considering that the plague of the Great Recession is mostly over, a surprisingly high number of “zombie” foreclosures remain out there – you know, the homes where the owner walked away due to their underwater mortgage, but where ownership has not yet been transferred to the lender?

With link to the recent RealtyTrac: “Vacant “Zombie” Foreclosures Nationwide Decrease 23 Percent From Year Ago But Increase in 16 States, 60 of 212 Metros” claiming:

“markets with lengthy and lengthening foreclosure timelines have unintentionally created a zombie foreclosure breeding ground,” Blomquist added.

Is that like how insects breed in stagnant water? How do we maintain pools of fresh water to raise the herd while preventing insect growth? Dark pools? Deadpool?

Associated Press via Washington Post: “US agencies struggle vs. cyberattacks” by Martha Mendoza:

while the government is projected to hire thousands more and spend $65 billion on cybersecurity contracts between 2015 and 2020, many experts believe the effort is not enough to catch up with a growing pool of hackers whose motives vary.

In February 2013, someone broke into the Emergency Alert System, broadcasting warnings about a zombie attack in California, Michigan, Montana and New Mexico. Jeremy Hammond, of Chicago, considers himself an activist who hacks to expose wrongs or promote social justice. He is serving 10 years in prison for breaking into the networks of security think tank Stratfor, whose clients include the departments of Homeland Security and Defense. “I hacked a lot of stuff but the government, they’re hacking all over the world,” Hammond said in an interview from prison.

Drowning? Bloating and floating? Grab a zombie board and catch the next wave; GamenGuide: “Plants vs. Zombies 2 Update Big Wave Beach”

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