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Mr Crumbs Wild Ride: zombie cupcakes eating meat

July 11, 2014

Yesterday, Crumbs was reprieved from near bankruptcy by private investors. This causes the stock price to soar from 3 cents to as high as 70 cents with ups and downs and wow some day traders must have made a fortune.

crumbs zombie stock chart

I first say it yesterday afternoon after it had already climbed 1000% and was reported in The Wire: “Zombie Cupcakes: Crumbs Aims to Resurrect Itself” by Polly Mosendz. I didn’t have the stomach to jump in at that point, but then it just kept climbing. Then it fell back some, but then popped even higher today.

See also NY Eater: “Giant Cupcakes Are Not Dead After All” by Devra Ferst:

Less than 72 hours after Crumbs Bake Shop abruptly shuttered all of its locations, the chain is getting close to signing a deal that will bring it back from the dead.

But see Jezebel: “ZOMBIE CUPCAKES: Crumbs Is Maybe Not Dead Yet” by Kelly Faircloth:

Nevertheless, I stand by my conviction that the cupcake craze is over.

That conviction (which referred to “a zombie army of cupcakes”) also cited a 2012 Jezebel article: A Cupcake Is Never Just a Cupcake: The Psycho-Sexuality of a Twee Treat by Dodai Stewart:

modern times call for modern branding, and if you’re looking for the shorthand way to label something as being of, for or about the essence of a woman, and you have no pictogram of a vagina handy, by all means, slap a cupcake on it.

And so the bankruptcy of Crumbs was to symbolize a change in modern feminism, an end of the early millennial era and onto something new. Faircloth doesn’t think the last minute equity bailout changes that thesis. She still thinks burger and yogurt are the trends of the future.

Incidentally, it does seem that some of the anti-meat rhetoric is quieting. Maggie Volpo in Ladybug: “WTF is an Ethicatarian? My Post-Vegetarianism Diet” explains that the zombie apocalypse brought her back to meat-eating:

When I was fifteen, nearly sixteen, I gave up red meat. … I gave it up and felt better for it in the long run, until I became obsessed with the zombie apocalypse. Truthfully, it was half heartbreak and half a fear of The End of The World As We Know It that inspired my change of attitude.

But then the next sentence explains that it also had a lot to do with pleasing her boyfriend (now husband) and tolerating morning-sickness during pregnancy. So now she advocates buying a whole side of beef from a sustainable farmer and eating it, but only as a sometimes-food. Ironically, I think studying the zombies has made me try to be more vegan, but I do like Volpo’s notions of ethicatarianism.

As with all zombie related issues, the question of whether eating meat is evil is a false dichotomy. Insisting that the way is certain ignores the deep complexity of the world. It is possible that sometimes eating some kinds of well-raised meat might be more ethical that eating zombie-slave-farmed sugar … ? So long as there is money to be made, the banks will finance it. They financed slavery for sugar, they’ll finance cows for slaughter, they knew that 3 cents for a share of Crumbs was a steal. There is an obesity epidemic but who cares, it’s selling goods, how could that be evil?

[Recall also, the death and resurrection of zombie Hostess brands]

From → corporations, money

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