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Kerry Kennedy given special treatment? zombie forced to trial, acquitted!

March 1, 2014

Could zombie Kerry Kennedy sue the Westchester County or the State of New York for malicious prosecution? She was recently acquitted by jury trial on misdemeanor charges of impaired driving. Recall last year ZombieLaw: Kerry Kennedy Ambien Zombie

kerry kennedy ambien zombie.

As the story goes, she accidentally took a generic Ambien instead of the thyroid pill she intended to take. She did not realize this mistake until she was already involved in a car accident, left the scene and later found asleep at the wheel.

This story makes sense because who in their right mind would take an Ambien and get behind the wheel of a car? Unless she was trying to kill herself? Or if she only popped the Ambien after she left the scene of the accident? I don’t think the prosecution had any evidence of either of those theories. Still, the case went to trial.

New York Daily News reports the story with a great photo-opportunity of Kerry Kennedy wheeling her 85 year old mother, Ethel Kennedy, out of the courtroom. See “Kerry Kennedy claims she was accidental Ambien zombie — found not guilty of drugged driving by Westchester County jury” by Dareh Gregorian and Corky Siemaszko:

The zombie walked.

and

Ambien, a sleeping aid that an expert said can result in “zombiism” and “sleep driving.”

Her attorneys think the case shouldn’t have been brought, defense attorney Gerald Lefcourt is quoted:

“The prosecution was appalling,” he said. “This case should never have been brought.” His colleague, William Aronwald, said prosecutors admitted to him that they couldn’t drop the case because “it would give the impression of special treatment” for a Kennedy.

That’s the funny thing about special treatment for being a celebrity in court. The supposed claim of not wanting to give special treatment actually means that the celebrity was treated differently, in this case perhaps persecuted more severely than the average person might be.

Had Kerry Kennedy not been a Kennedy, she probably would have taken a plea to a violation, a traffic infraction, not a crime, and been done with this case without the expense of trial. Instead, because she is a Kennedy, she was treated differently. Then again, once at trial, she surely had more sympathy than other defendants might, mentioning “daddy” and evoking the spirit of ’68. And so the scales tip again because had Kerry Kennedy not been a Kennedy and the case still taken to trial, the prosecutors probably would have had a better chance.

But she’s the ex-wife of the governor, daughter of a national icon and part of the most political family in America. This case might not even represent any increase in Kennedy legal expenses. It might even be profitable for the long-term brand identity. And like I said before, nice photo-op for old Ethel, and for Kerry too. All and all, a nice little outing to court for a family that is accustomed to that sort of theater.

The zombies here are the people still paying attention to Kennedy’s as if it’s still Camelot. A form of magical realism. Then again it’s also about medications, and identity, and so that makes it a good zombie topic. The law claims to deal with individuals as if they were equal, but families differ and medications can make you act in ways you would not expect. Most people can’t afford expert witnesses or teams of defense attorneys. But then again, most people would take the non-criminal violation plea.

Maybe equal justice means leaning more heavily on the heavyweights. But something feels wrong about the government learning more heavily on different individuals. The alternative is surely just as bad. If everyone was forced to go to trial the current system would collapse. We would need a lot more courtrooms and judges and court staff… would that be so bad?

So Kerry Kennedy is treated differently. Sent to trial, which is what is the ideal of this country, but so unusual for the everyday criminal defendant. All because it can’t look like Governor Cuomo pulled any strings or that the Kennedy’s get special treatment? Ridiculous legal practices, gotta love it!.

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