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Lost language lonely Valentines knives Bieber

February 13, 2014

IBT: “Valentine’s Day 2014 Gift Ideas: Zombie Survival Kit From Man Crates; Nothing Says ‘I Love You’ Like A Machete And Wood” by Amanda Remling

Ok but no blades over four inches in New York City, so maybe instead give a copy of “Valentine’s Day in the Federal Courts“. Except if you didn’t order yesterday then you probably can’t get it by Friday.

So, ok, forget it. Like NASA forgot the International Sun-Earth Explorer, ISEE-3, see NationalJournal: “America Forgot How to Talk to Its Zombie Spaceship” by Alex Brown:

Some want to crack the history books and figure out how to rebuild the transmitter necessary to once again talk to our lonely spaceship. Why waste a resource that we’ve already put in space? But NASA says that would prove too expensive. “They thought it would [cost] so much that it wasn’t worth spending the staff time to get the estimate,” Lakdawalla said. “NASA has limited resources, and they have to focus on the ones that are producing the best science right now.”

Seems like it would be a great Kickstarter project for some University engineering program. A project to save the lonely zombie by relearning its lost language.

Kelly Murphy at Central Michigan is getting Associate Press coverage, “Zombie and religion course offered at Central Michigan University” for her course in apocalyptic texts. Surely some engineering college could have a course in rebuilding the past, and could Kickstarter fund it? How much are we talking about here? Does NASA have a number? Is not the history of science as worthy as science itself?

Then again maybe the academic pursuit of knowledge is no longer the worthy aim I once hoped it’d be. I mean, it’s only because I am committed to studying “zombie” that I am forced to care about “Justin Bieber ‘Outraged,’ May Sue Over Ex-Housekeeper ‘Zombie’ Drugs Claims“. Maybe defamation for being called a zombie? Perhaps sometimes it’s just not worth studying.

Please, if you are feeling lonely on Valentine’s (or any day) don’t use the big knives for self-harm. No more cut4bieber, not more cutting! And please no more Bieber zombies!!!

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