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Zombie Jokes I don’t quite get – Valentine’s Day – Pamela Anderson, Indian Soap and Jewish Lesbian Bears

February 11, 2014

People ask why Zombie Valentine’s Day, and it’s rather complicated. Blood is red, chocolate and sugar, and scaring kids, sex, and violence, and drugs and alcohol… but also, he likes you for your brains, wants to eat your heart out…

Also Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein is basically a love story. Eve Sedgwick referred to “the Age of Frankenstein” in “Epistemology of the Closet“:

…wildly dichotomous play around solipsism and intersubjectivity of a male paranoid plot one that always ends in the tableau of two men chasing one another across a landscape evacuated of alternative life or interest, toward a climax that tends to condense the amorous with the murderous…

More literally, Victor Frankenstein’s monster literally demands that Victor fabricate a mate for the monster. Victor begins to comply but decides to destroy the second monster before fully bringing it to life. In response, the monster takes out more vengeance on his creator by killing Victor’s adopted-sister-wife on his wedding night. And before that the monster kills other people in Victor’s family for whom Victor himself may also have had some libidinous feeling about. It is perhaps Victor’s own pre-Freud-id-like-unconsciousness that rises up to destroy those he cares most about.

Speaking of the epistemology of closets, then there’s Conan OBrien staging a zombie Lesbian kiss- and also a zombie bit where he’s the zombie himself. “Here’s TV’s First Lesbian Zombie Kiss and Zombie Conan O’Brien—Watch Now!” — both clips are mildly funny cosplay


Then there’s this Indian TV soap opera, “Adaalat“, see Times of India: “The case of a Zoombie in Sony TV’s Adaalat“:

We see James as a zombie coming to Arnolds room to ask him to catch the murderer and give him justice otherwise he will kill everyone.

Sounds like “Hamlet”, but then a confession and a captured zombie… “Everybody gets confused. ” Recall other india zombies.

And recall the recent Union Square subway AMC promotion, see NY Observer: “The MTA Is Just as Sick of Zombie Pranks as the Rest of Us” by Vinnie Mancuso and NYPost: “MTA ‘troubled’ by ‘Walking Dead’ subway grate video” by Sean Piccoli and Daniel Prendergast.

Yes, these zombie pranks are a troubling… and then there’s: “The Berenstain Bears’ Funny Valentine”:

Which reminds me, “If All Adults Reread ‘The Berenstain Bears,’ The World Would Be A Much Better Place” (but what’s the deal with them being Jewish, not-Jewish, Christian prayer, awfully whiny):

Finally, in Cranes: “On Wall Street, dead companies live on as zombie stocks” by Aaron Elstein:

Even after failed companies meet their demise, they often continue to exist on paper and enjoy afterlives as zombie stocks.

Rogue brokers, not unlike the character played by Leonardo DiCaprio in the Martin Scorsese film The Wolf of Wall Street, snap up control of a zombie stock, paying pennies a share. Then they announce the company is now in some sexy business like clean energy or social media and hype the stock however they can. (One company hired Pamela Anderson as its celebrity spokeswoman.) When enough dupes buy in, the brokers sell the stock and run.

I’m confused because isn’t this what all public companies do? Isn’t it the same at Facebook or Twitter or Google or Apple? Pump up confidence and hope it doesn’t collapse? Of course those companies still have products but who says the next iPhone will sell well, or that kids won’t use Facebook? When it all goes belly-up then the confidence game becomes a ponzi scheme. Until then it’s somehow more ethical than a zombie stock? And is Pamela Anderson a zombie? Synthetic enough to live forever?

Like I said, these are zombie jokes I don’t quite get…

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