“turkey-focused zombie apocalypse”
The Atlantic: “Good News: After a Zombie Attack, We’ll Have Enough Frozen Turkey for Thanksgiving” by Alexis C. Madrigal examines the industry stockpiles of frozen turkey meat:
Let’s just say that zombies attacked America on October 31, 2014. And this particular brand of zombies began their marauding with the nation’s turkeys. And they ate all of the live turkeys … luckily, the nation’s food cold storage professionals would hold a press conference and announce to the nation, “Don’t worry, everyone. Like every year around this time, we have more than 400 million pounds of frozen turkey in our warehouses.”
But it’s mostly in parts, so
don’t expect a whole bird … after the short-lived, turkey-focused zombie apocalypse, few people would get actual birds they could roast.
Alexis Madrigal is one of my favorite journalists. This is not the first mention of Madrigal on ZombieLaw (see “Automatic Tweet about Hazardous Material scares The Atlantic” and “Zombie for Awareness“) but in those he was reporting on a “zombie” from someone else. This time it appears the zombie-eating-turkey meme is his, so, here’s a zombie version of Mr. Madrigal – Happy Thanksgiving to you, I am thankful for your journalism.
And while I’m being thankful for good journalists let me also mention Nate Anderson who is still awesome.
Finally, consider that eating animal meat and tweeting about it, sort of makes us all versions of undead cannibalistic parrots.
Meanwhile in other zombie-thanksgiving news:
“FMC announces Zombie Weed Warrior winners” from Golfcourseindustry
“Hold the Phone: Walgreens Is Selling a ZOMBIE DILDO” from Jezebel
“Thanksgiving 2013: ObamaCare-Zombie Survival Guide… OY” from CanadaFreePress
“Zombie apps, car door handles, and… what CNET’s crew is thankful for” from CNET
“There is just no escape from Mario Draghi’s monetary zombie nightmare” from FXstreet