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Zombie Happy Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2013

From Cracked funny valentine cards:

This joke relates also to spouses who have to decide to pull the plug on a brain dead partner (see also inverse zombie problem and the Terry Schiavo case and the George Clooney movie “The Descendants“). If you don’t have an updated and valid health care proxy and living will, maybe you should consider executing one. What could be more romantic for Valentines Day then to give your lover a conditional power of attorney.

And from filmmaker, Jarret Berenstein: “Attack of the She-Zombie!”, a cute short film that reminds of Zombies involved in sexual assaults.

More zombie valentines: — from Associated Press via Washington Post: “From Valentine’s Day to zombies, Vegas embraces in-your-face gun promotion as others pull back” and of course there’s still plenty of “Warm Bodies” Zombie Boyfriend promotions (BurkePatch: “‘Warm Bodies’ an Awesome Zombie Valentine” by Leslie Combemale of Art Insights or Auburn Plainsman: “Zombies on Valentine’s?” by Rachel Suhsand) and also Zombie Teddy Bears:

Inquisitr: Zombie Teddy Bears: A Good Valentine’s Day Gift? [Graphic Content Warning] and Daily Mail: “Dawn of the Ted: Artist turns cute cuddly toys into gruesome zombies that would be sure to to keep you awake at night” by Harriet Arkell – about a series of bears by artist Phillip Blackman:

According to Wikipedia, Teddy Bears are an early 20th century invention, named for President Theodore Roosevelt:

noted for his exuberant personality, range of interests and achievements, and his leadership of the Progressive Movement, as well as his “cowboy” persona and robust masculinity.

He also referred to himself as “bull moose” and was eulogized as an “old lion”. This use of animal metaphors to describe his personality is relevant to zombies metaphors. Again reference George Mazzei’s 1979 article in “The Advocate” entitled “Who’s Who in the Zoo?” and see more recently Sommer and Sommer (2011) “Zoomorphy: Animal Metaphors for Human Personality” Anthrozoös 24(3) 237-248, showing animal “Zoomorphs tend to be male and refer to healthy adult individuals”. I might expect monster-creature metaphors would be less healthy (Cf. anemic witches).

Note also that as Assistant Secretary of the Navy, Roosevelt was instrumental in preparing the US for the Spanish-American War: “I should welcome almost any war, for I think this country needs one” – “Remember the Maine“. And then after his presidency, Teddy spent time in Africa killing large game – then back to feud with Taft, run for president again, survive an assassination attempt, give the speech anyway and have the bullet lodged in his chest for the remaining seven years of his life:

While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on October 14, 1912, a saloonkeeper named John Schrank shot him, but the bullet lodged in his chest only after penetrating his steel eyeglass case and passing through a thick (50 pages) single-folded copy of the speech he was carrying in his jacket. Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he was not coughing blood, the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt. He spoke for 90 minutes. His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, “Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”

The Republicans lost to Wilson in part because of the the rift between Roosevelt and Taft. Wilson would lead the country into WW1.

Because of the bullet wound, Roosevelt was taken off the campaign trail in the final weeks of the race (which ended election day, November 5). Though the other two campaigners stopped their own campaigns in the week Roosevelt was in the hospital, they resumed it once he was released. The bullet lodged in his chest caused his chronic rheumatoid arthritis – which he had suffered from for years – to get worse and it soon prevented him from doing his daily stint of exercises; Roosevelt would soon become obese as well. Roosevelt, for many reasons, failed to move enough Republicans in his direction. He did win 4.1 million votes (27%), compared to Taft’s 3.5 million (23%). However, Wilson’s 6.3 million votes (42%) were enough to garner 435 electoral votes. Roosevelt had 88 electoral votes to Taft’s 8 electoral votes. This meant that Taft became the only incumbent president to place third in a re-election bid.

Incidentally, Teddy Roosevelt’s fifth cousin, FDR, would also become president after serving as Assistant Secretary of the Navy. Teddy was related “more closely related to Franklin’s wife Eleanor, who was his niece. (She was the daughter of Teddy’s brother Elliot.)” ZombieLaw has previously explored the connection of FDR’s time as Assistant Secretary of the Navy to Haitian zombies and the co-incidental timing of FDR’s presidency to rising zombie rhetoric using WW2 enemies as prototypical foreign enemies associated with zombie minds (communist automatons and nazi fascists).


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