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Zombie Benjamin Franklin Cake

January 22, 2013

Benjamin Franklin is quoted: “nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” (mentioned previously in regards to Zombie Estate Tax Planning) — If zombies exist, how certain is death? So then the message is that taxes are also not so certain.

KUTnews of Austin Texas asks “Why Was This Cake Decorated With a Zombie Ben Franklin Left on a Hyde Park Porch Overnight?” by Wells Dunbar

On it’s face the story is silly, someone left an artsy cake without a note – but the better question is why will this cake go viral – what is it about zombies and Benjamin Franklin that are perhaps primed for popular appeal?

As the article mentions, Benjamin Franklin’s birthday was January 17th last week. He is of course the face of the $100 dollar bill and the founder of the University of Pennsylvania. And according to Uncyclopedia, Benjamin Franklin was also part of “Global Conspiracy”:

Many have begun to suspect that Franklin is really the mastermind behind a plot to keep the brains of the world’s population in little jars on shelves at the Lafayette Reservoir Tower. Theories relating to this date back to 1858, when a young Abe Lincoln was quoted saying to abolitionist John Brown that “the slave power of the south is perpetuated by B.F.’s mind control”.

Recall also that last week’s Philly students zombie protest was about school closures was at Benjamin Franklin High School!!!

Cakes are totally trending – “Let them Eat Cake” is an ironic position for Franklin – but he’s dead so his zombie can be used however – note also a connection to d0x cakes in reference to a loss of privacy. Emblematic of a random cake on your doorstep.

Note also the coincidental connection of Hyde Park Historic District in Austin, Texas to the historic home of President Franklin D. Roosevelt in Hudson Valley, New York:

“All that is within me cries out to go back to my home on the Hudson River” ~ FDR

As readers of ZombieLaw know, FDR is an important figure for zombies. And see also “Hyde Park on Hudson“:

a 2012 British biographical comedy-drama film directed by Roger Michell. The film stars Bill Murray and Laura Linney as Franklin D. Roosevelt and Margaret Suckley, respectively. It was based on Margaret Suckley’s private journals and diaries discovered after Suckley’s death, about her love affair with and intimate details about President Franklin D. Roosevelt

Bill Murray is of course notable for many roles but for zombie fans his cameo in ZombieLand – and also Laura Linney is recently best known as the intro voice for Masterpiece Classic Downton Abbey (recently compared to zombies by Variety magazine)

But wait there’s more to this crazy conspiracy!

The current $100 bill was scheduled to have been replaced by new colorful hundred dollar bills two year ago.

Unfortunately the machines were defective – See CNBC (December 2010): “The Fed Has a $110 Billion Problem with New Benjamins” by Eamon Javers – still some of the money was usable:

The total face value of the unusable bills, $110 billion, represents more than ten percent of the entire supply of US currency on the planet, which a government source said is $930 billion in banknotes.

Then past October 2012, in HuffPo: ” FBI: ‘Large Amount’ Of Newly Designed $100 Bills Stolen At Philadelphia International Airport

Youtube user TheOfficialWazupBomb notices an eeriness about a “Zombie Benjamin Franklin $100 Dollar Bill

Note similarity in estimated entire supply of US currency and the trillion dollar coin idea. What if suddenly all the currency was declared void and all the value was in a coin. What if the Fed decided it can no longer provide a secure $100 bill and that all transactions will have to be in denominations smaller than $50 or $20 or just all electronic credit/debit transactions. Imagine what that could do for tax tracking.

So why not get rid of cash completely? We let zombies track everything else through iPhones and RFID embedded student ID cards – Lifetracking is great – it will help you lose weight — did I mention cake? — so do we still need cash?

You see there are lots of reasons why the “bennyfrankzombie cake” has appeared- it all makes perfect sense – like a tennis player “taking a zombie for a walk”.

From → politics

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