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Zombie Hostess Brands – Death of the twinkie, cupcake, sno ball, ho ho

November 16, 2012

Today’s big story in zombie news is “Time to Start Stockpiling Twinkies? Hostess in Limbo as Workers Strike” in Time magazine by Martha White:

According to the urban legend (and a few zombie movies), Twinkies can be expected to last forever. But thanks to labor issues, longstanding financial difficulties, and changing consumer preferences, Twinkie manufacturer Hostess Brands Inc. might not be quite as indestructible.

zombie twinkie hostess

Don’t worry, Twinkies will survive” writes Dan Primack at Fortune CNN Money:

Twinkies are going to be around for a long time to come. And not just because they’re the foodstuff of choice for the zombie apocalypse.

Yes, Hostess Brands today began liquidation. Yes, all of the bakers lost their jobs (they weren’t willing to make a deal). So did the delivery truck drivers (they were). And it’s true that the last batches of Hostess Brand(ed) treats were sent out last night, and the ovens were fired down.

But the news on the street is at Pop2it: “Hostess is going out of business: Time to hoard your Twinkies” by Terri Schwartz:

It seems like “Zombieland” might have gotten it right when the movie said that Twinkies would be hard to find in the future. The zombie apocalypse might not be on its way (or so we think), but Hostess Brand Inc. is closing its doors.

The 82-year-old company made the announcement that it’s seeking to liquidate today (Nov. 16). This news comes after Hostess filed for Chapter 11 in January. The company has requested for bankruptcy-court authorization and plans to close Hostess and sell all assets. It was a national strike planned by Hostess’s second-largest union that stopped work starting on Nov. 9 that ended up forcing the company to close its doors.

Or so the narrative goes as of today; the deadliest of snack food companies, liquidated by an obstructionist baker’s union. But surely the narrative is not over and many of these brands will be acquired, and re-engineered to produce cheaper in factories that use more machines and less workers.

Recall that zombies have long been associated to confectioner’s products and worker’s rights in the sugar industry. I would also like to call attention to the historic role of baker’s in Amwerican contract law – See Lochner v New York.

What if President Obama was a real communist and nationalized the Hostess factories and immediately set them to work making healthier food. That would be some real Wonder Bread. Because while Twinkies are a disgusting American invention they are also a quintessential brand of our modern culture and I think Michelle Obama might enjoy redesigning them into something was at least marginally acceptable as a sometimes-food. If all of Hostess brands were set to work making healthy food and re-educating the public about food…. well.. ok not going to happen… This is not Truman and the steel mills

This is an era of identity politics not radical action. And so finally, I can’t help notice the cultural bestiary of identity slang in the Hostess brand lexicon: Twinks, cupcakes, ho-hos – this reminds me of the zombie as political identity akin to the subculture of bears. We use lots of words like this to describe subcultures through characters.

Disgusting as the products were, the death of the Hostess characters is a sad day for this nation, but it remains to be seen what the zombie versions will do.

See also “The Twinkies-Zombie Apocalypse has officially begun” in The Examiner by Niema Hulin:

[ZombieLand Zombie Hunter] Tallahassee spent the entire movie searching for Twinkies. In fact he even went into stores where he knew there would be zombies and risked his life for the sweet, golden delicious taste that only Twinkies can provide.

And for you DIY survivalists out there, here’s a recipe to make your own version of a Twinkie. Consume at your own risk.

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