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Stephen Colbert: Zombies are Intellectual Elites – Brains!

June 7, 2012

Stephen Colbert last night on his show commented on the recent “Zombie Apocalypse” media craze and the Center for Disease Control’s changing position:

Articles with video clip available at:

Rolling Stone: Colbert: Zombies Are Intellectual Elites – ‘All They Care About Is Braiiiiiiins’

“It makes sense that zombies would be attracted to science,” he said. “I mean, they’re intellectual elites. All they care about is braaaaaiiiiiinnnnns.”

And

LA Times: Late Night: Stephen Colbert terrified of the ‘zombie apocalypse’

Stephen Colbert finally broke the late-night zombie embargo. “Folks, you know that I do not flinch at unpleasantness,” he began. “But even I have been willfully ignoring a terrifying trend dominating the news.”

After playing a montage of news reports about the spate of grisly crimes that inspired the zombie meme, Colbert joked, “Cannibalism is the hot new trend. And you thought sagging pants were annoying?”

And

Perez Hilton: Stephen Colbert Warns That The CDC Has Been Taken Over By Zombies!

Stephen Colbert is questioning the government agencies flip-flopping stance on the existence of the walking dead and has a developed new theory: The CDC has been taken over by zombies!

From → Academics

2 Comments
  1. The biggest secret of politics, and political strategists, is the knowledge that the majority of people are now medically, clinically, scientifically-provable brain damaged, ignorant lumbering shades of what people used to be.

    The Norman Rockwell icon of the “we are just plain folks in our overalls working hard on our farms” demographic of the average citizen is gone. Replaced by a drug addled, alcohol addled, Prozac addled, junk-food-brain-damaged horde of inner city gangsters, media catatonics, trophy wives, arrogant yuppie hipsters, obese pita-pocket gobbling, Jerry Springer addicts.

    In other words, a large number of the voting public are really, really dumb; Dumber than ever and easily brainwashed. They are increasing in numbers.
    The CIA discovered that you can brainwash some people in a matter of hours and most people in 5 days or less. Madison Avenue then perfected their techniques. “Over-messaging” is the intelligence agency technique of brainwashing an entire country (millions of people) over the course of a year or two, with subtle concept reinforcement. It is done in a way so that the population does not really notice it and so they think it was their idea. A successfully accomplished intelligence effort of this kind is called a “regime change” or “national transition effort”, on Madison Avenue it is called a: “marketing campaign”.

    The increase in Reality TV shows about exceptionally stupid people has to do with the smart people turning off their TV’s and the dumb people increasing in numbers. The dumb ones are the only ones the TV networks can get to watch but they have to meet them on their level. Domestic education scores are dropping through the basement. Many high school students can’t read a book. The population is getting stupid at the speed of light.

    At college you can get smart but if you get too smart you might observe and realize all of the things in this essay are true so not everybody gets to go to college. If you aren’t addicted to something then you might see too clearly so the underwriting of the alcohol and drug industry continues (with your tax dollars)
    So you have the smart ones and the dumb ones (think Morlocks and Eloi) if you run the current cycles and patterns out into the future you might actually end up with Morlocks and Eloi. (If you still know how to read books you will know what this reference is, the rest of you: Google it) One wonders if the current fad about Zombies has to do with the public’s second sight on his potential future.

    Political strategists exploit the dumb hordes by triggering their primal instincts using very base advertising concepts: “The bad guys will get you if you don’t vote for us” (Fear); “You won’t be able to get money to pay for your addictions if you don’t let us create the jobs” (Security); etc. An entire campaign can be won without the need to appeal to any intelligent voters. The bestial ones can bring in the majority more often than not.

    If you are reading this, you may be saying: “oh, I’m not one of them” but if you don’t read the news daily from multiple sources, if you only have products from the eye-level shelf at Safeway in your cupboards and if you watch “reality TV” shows… you just might be one. But you have one last chance to escape…

    The only advantage that one side has over the other is money. If the law, the Constitution and the public demand said that every penny spent by one voice in an issue must be equal to that spent by any other voice, almost all of the injustice issues would dissolve. The sides that have all of the money will never let such a law exist. Your only hope is to change that!

    Make the law or end up as a Zombie!

  2. wow – impressive rant – I don’t know who you are but I appreciate the thoughtful comments.
    And thank you for reading ZombieLaw.

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